It seems pathetic that it takes an unrequited romance to get me back to blogging again, after a 5-month hiatus. I mean what else am I supposed to do? I can barely get a shut-eye and my mind is too scatter-shot for reading or even watching TV for that matter. A better way to sort out this emotional mess is to talk to a trusted confidant but since I'm lacking that option for now the next best therapeutic thing for me to do is write. By the way, I'll wait until I get back to KL this weekend to talk with my confidant.
As always, after going through such emotional turmoil, I would make an unshakable pledge to not ever allow myself a moment of weakness like this to happen again and to swear off any romantic relationship or an attempt at establishing one in the future. Of course I break it every time, though thankfully it is still a very rare occurrence. Also I think, fortunately in this case, I wasn't in that deep into the affair that if I was it could probably have resulted in a more serious (emotional) damage. Still, my guard was down and though I haven't really taken that proverbial leap of faith I was nonetheless hanging precariously on the precipice by the tip of my brittle fingernails. Now is the matter of pulling myself back up over the ledge, dusting myself off, and continuing on my life journey despite this little hiccup. How long will it take me to get back up on that ledge, put this momentary lapse of emotional acuity behind and trudge on to my merry ways still remains a question. Like all emotional trauma this one does hurt but I reckon it's not as bad as the previous ones and it shouldn't take me that long to bounce back up. We'll see.
p/s: I'm halfway done with Mario Vargas Llosa's "The Bad Girl" and I guess by sympathizing with the more romantically unfortunate and emotionally hapless protagonist it somehow has a sobering and calming effect on my currently tumultuous mind.
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