Complete Capitulation

Below are a couple of excerpts from the exchanges I had with her now on-again boyfriend yesterday. Now I fully understand why she's been cutting me off on all communication front. I'm not sure if she shares with him all the communications I've been sending her or if he has total unfettered access to all her email and Facebook accounts. Either way, I think it's really sad that she's letting this guy takes total control of her life and invading every inch of her private space.

I'm still grasping for an answer to explain this complete surrender of individual privacy. Is this what she meant by giving him another chance to change? By completely and cravenly surrendering her individual autonomy for the sake of sustaining the almost-doomed relationship? It seems like a counter-productive thing to do as what she's doing is just hardening his old habits. There's no incentive for him to change because he has her on tight leash and she's not going anywhere because he controls every aspect of her life. He is now the master of her domain - to paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld.

I'm not angry at her for turning out this way but really pity her for putting herself in such a situation. I know she's a much much better person than this, and I think she knows it herself too. All sane people can see that this kind of relationship is not going to be a happy one and is most likely to end in disaster. I've read what she wrote in her old blog (kerigitmaniez) and she hasn't been entirely happy with him even after the first few months of the relationship. The ominous signs were crystal clear even from back then. I sincerely hope that she gets out of it before it's too late, and I'm saying this as a friend who cares for her physical and emotional well-being.

I don't know if this guy also reads my blog but I don't give a flying fuck, really. He can leave nasty comments here and I'll just delete them. I've dealt with freaks on my blog before but usually on hot political issues. Anyway, I don't think this insecure hyper-possessive man-child dignifies a response from me. It'll be a waste of my time and typing skills. One thing I can say to him is if you can't stand the heat then stay the fuck away from the kitchen...
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Subject: hi..

hi man, this is mike.. i'm elvita's fiancee.. i will really appreciate it if u could stop sending message or email to my fiancee.. please stop, cause it's just not right.. find your own girl, go on with you life, and also don't call my fiancee mon cherie, cause she's not yours..

and i don't think she needs any update on your life, cause she already got her own life and mine to take care of..

i really hope you understand, cause what u have done is just not right, what will u do if some stranger guy hit on your girl, u must be pissed right?

so just stop....
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My Reply:

i see that somebody is a bit green with jealousy. it's understandable though. you see, i think being super possessive and an insecure control freak is not cool really. elvita has her own independent mind and she doesn't need somebody to tell her what to do or think. also, in case you forget, the last time i check, freedom of speech is still being practiced on FB.

i'll do what i need to do and if you're not man enough to face it, then it's too bad for you.
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Re: hi..

hey man, i already ask u politely, and i'm not going to repeat it again.. have a little dignity as a man.. stop disturbing our life with your useless update.. if u want to announce the whole world about your life it's your own personal right, but please stop sending email or sms to my fiancee..

and i think it's so sad of you that u like someone else's fiancee.. get a grip and find another girl..