Of Broken Promises: Part Une

I hate broken promises and especially when my good-faith efforts are not being equally reciprocated. I don't care if the person is a man or a woman. Once a person breaks a promise, especially with some lame-ass excuses, I feel used and my honor slighted. I ALWAYS try to keep my end of the bargain and I expect the same from the other person. I don't make promises I can't keep and I'd sooner commit seppuku-style suicide than breaking promises - not literally, but just a macabre imagination of a bruised honor - or at the very least try to make amends for the disappointments my breaking the promises have caused the other person. Still, it takes an act of God to prevent me from breaking promises, which happens very rarely, and I always make up for them afterward.

I do intend on holding the other person to the same rigid and exacting standard I apply to myself. I do make exemptions if the person has strong enough reasons to break the promise and has exhausted all attempts to keep his/her end of the bargain. I do realize that what a person claims to be a strong excuse might sound lame and weak to me, and vice versa. But both parties have to agree that some excuses are just lame and insulting like getting totally wasted the night before and forgets to set the alarm clock the next day - an excuse that was used on me before.

And if you're wondering why I'm posting this blog the answer is a resounding YES!: It's about a girl and I've been stood up by her. I'll let others judge if the excuses used were lame or believable since my mind is already pretty made up by now. And dear readers, do try to put yourself in my shoes as someone who has travel to another country at his own expenses and at a great effort just to keep the promise.

THE EXCUSE: My on-again/off-again boyfriend contracts high fever and is very sick. He hastily drives to my house very early in the morning and desperately wants me to take care of him. So that's why I can't go out with you either today or tomorrow (my two off days) because I have to put on my Florence Nightingale outfit and tends to his fragile ego and other ailing physical and mental needs.

Okay, here are my honest thoughts on this whole brouhaha. I know that she'll be reading the post, so it's good that she knows how I truly feel. I'd rather tell her this in person but meeting her face-to-face now is a sheer impossibility. And if we'd talk over the phone I'd still be telling her the same thing.

First, I have to mention that the allegedly sick quasi-boyfriend is a full-grown adult man, who is supposedly able to take care of himself. I have practically been taking care of myself since I was thirteen years old, and it's an utter shame that one who is old enough to get married and have kids cannot or refuse do the same. He, in all honesty, is simply a sad pathetic excuse for a man.

Second, logically speaking, if you're gravely ill, what place of healing first comes to mind? Well, why, the hospital, of course, or the dukun's house if you don't believe in secular medicine, unless if the on-again/off-again girlfriend is an accomplished doctor with complete medical equipment in her small cramped kost (rented room), which I can assure you that she's not. And what boggles the mind more is that how deathly sick can you be if you're still able to drive the long distance from your house to get to your on-again/off-again girlfriend's makeshift clinic/rented room. But then he probably has one of those robot-cars that drives by itself like Knight Rider, presumably made by the now defunct Tommy Suharto's car company, Timur.

I feel that the story/excuse sounds fishy and a tad bit unbelievable. But if it actually happens then I feel sorry for both of them: him for being such a pathetically insecure guy who sorely needs to man up and face the harsh reality of life; and her, for putting up with such a man-child. And I still don't understand why the guy needs to have constant care for two whole days for high fever? If he's really that sick, then he should be in a goddamn hospital cared for by well-trained doctors and nurses, and this guy can certainly afford it since he's rich (and spoiled!). And what kind of TLC service she's providing to make him feel better? Spoon-feed him mushy food? Bathe him? Clothe him? Powder his butts? I couldn't even begin to imagine...

I just feel that, besides taking care of my books, seeing my relatives in Bandung and meeting up with good friends in Jakarta (Angie, Ken, Samson & Jeremy), this trip has been a collosal waste of time, money, and effort. I came with high hopes of seeing this girl whom I've never met in person before (only in the virtual world) and have my hopes shattered to pieces by a cantakerous man-child. Yes, it's disappointing and I'm pissed off as hell. I wish I can just talk to her right now and let her know a piece of my mind. Women are just so goddamn complicated that I'm at the point of just giving up and become gay! I don't know if there is any less drama in the gay world but I bet it couldn't get any worse! Okay, just kidding about the gay conversion but I'm still angry nonetheless...